Walter Palmer Redeemed

SGH back for the two one five.

BARRETT ON ICE

GOPHER NUMEROLOGY: THE TALE OF THE TAPE vs tOSU

You want words, read Frothy's post.  I give you pictures... me like pictures.  Also, Numerology.  Here is the tale of the tape for Saturday's tilt:

Source for awful IQ stats:  Link

The Unimportant Game that Means Everything

Remember when I used to blog here? Those were the days. Ridiculous 100,000 word challenges, a few laughs, a few tears, nipple tassels galore. I miss those days.

First things first, barring a schizoid break or brain tumor that compels me to eschew sleep and do nothing but blog for the next month, that 100k goal will die in agonizing hell fire. It was a run. Anyway, I owe some charity of your choosing $500 bones. I haven't forgotten and won't forget - but we'll settle up at the end of the season.

Second, since it's been a while, let's just agree to never discuss the Illinois game again. It never happened. "What never happened?" you ask. Exactly.

Third, my nuts are sore from a weekend full of flexing. Sweet Sassy that Iowa game was something. FOTB Matt Humbert over at The Daily Gopher posted a terrific piece on what it means in the grand scheme of things, concluding that the game exorcised some old demons and left us basking in the light of hope. We at SGH have always had hope, but its sweet bosom is riper and more succulent that it's felt in a long while. The hope bosom makes everything right.

Crushing Iowa while nuzzled into the hope bosom.

So, here we are at 7-2, about the best all but the most optimistic Gopher fans would have predicted at the start of the season. 7-2 with the Buckeyes coming to town. The Buckeyes who hold a 42 - 7 record against us. The Buckeyes who we've beaten exactly twice since Richard Nixon was in office. We can talk about our historical ineptitude against Michigan. but no one has had our number as consistently and brutally as Ohio State.

Thing is, though, this game isn't really all that important. Our path to the West Division crown doesn't have Ohio State in it. I mean, we play them, so they're technically in our paths, like, literally, but, whatever, we don't need to beat them to win the West. If you told me to choose two games remaining on our schedule I'd like to win, this one wouldn't be on the list. There are ways for us to win the division by not beating both Nebraska and Wisconsin, but they're tricky and outside of our control to some extent. Give me those two games and let the results of this one be damned.

So, yeah, this game is meaningless. Who cares what happens? Get through it unscathed, preferably not giving up triple digits to maintain a modicum of respect and keep the powder dry for the all-important games against the Huskers and the Huns to the East.

But while that may be the pragmatic approach, man, I don't know anyone who looks at it that way. Notwithstanding [REDCATED], things feel really different here now. Maybe it's the sweet, succulent bosom of hope afforded to us by cracking the whupping stick on Iowa. Maybe it's that we have Floyd and the Jug together for the first time in my life. Maybe this is just what every fan of a respectable, competent team feels. But I am really looking forward to this game on Saturday.

It's not that I think we're going to win - it would take a lot to go right for that to happen. I just look forward to seeing if we might win and, more importantly, how we stack up. The B1G isn't rife with spectacular teams this year, but OSU is the best candidate we'll see. This will be a great test for us against the best in the conference.

We'll come in with a lot of confidence. The Bucks just played in their biggest game of the regular season and may be a little off their peak. It'll be cold as hell. It's Year 4. The outcome of this game may not mean much to determining the winner of the Western Division; that will be settled in the next three weeks. But it means everything to us.

Chart Depicting Gopher Rollercoaster Ride

#NOREASON

The Iowa Defense is Formidable and Stuff

I don't know... I laughed.

This post is a follow-up to my post on Monday about the Hawkeye offense.  Sure, the offense has some neat parts and all, but the defense is what is most impressive about our corn people to the south.



Iowa ranks 18th in the nation in points against. (20.0ppg)  They are coming off of a week where they only allowed 7 to Pat Fitzgerald's Veiny Forehead. 

Here's a list of Iowa's best defensive performances this year:

Granted, our Gophers have given up more points to some of these teams, but I found it notable that they stifle the the suckier teams -- which I suppose makes sense.  Ball State is 2-2 in the MAC, ISU hasn't won a game in conference play and Pitt is 2-3 in the ACC.  Their other three games where they allowed 23, 29 and 38 points were against teams that as of right now (looking at you, IU) are all .500 or better.  And in two of they last three they gave up 29 and 38!



What does it all mean?  I don't know, I'm just trying to spin a scenario where the Gophers should be able to put up some points.

Kill said in the presser this week that Iowa is always a team that gets better during the year.  Lets look at the Hawkeyes by position.

Defensive Line

Drew Ott

The starting defensive ends are Nate Meier and Drew Ott.  Each have a whopping 40 total tackles on the year, but Ott is a pressure-machine.  The 6'4", 270lb junior has 10.5 tackles for loss and 8.0 sacks on the year.  He's had at least one sack in each of the last three contests.  He also has seven hurries and a pretty sweet beard. Fear him.

The defensive tackles are also very good.  Senior Louis Trinca-Pasat is coming off a game where he had three sacks and made Trevor Siemian cry. (unconfirmed)  He is fourth on the team in total tackles and has the most among defensive lineman with an incredible 50.  His 9.5 tackles for loss and 5.5 sacks are both second on the team.  The other tackle is 6'5", 315 senior Carl Davis.  He's a space eater type that occasionally gets into the backfield as well.  Kill refers to the two defensive tackles as "special" and not in the normal Iowa way.



Linebackers

Quinton Alston

The linebackers have been a bit banged up of late, but still are a strong unit featuring the team's leading tackler, senior Quinton Alston.  Last week, Alston moved to WLB as Reggie Spearman was out.  Travis Perry started in the middle.  The Outlaw Josey Jewell has also been banged up, but is normally a starter.  Alston is the gem of this group though, he gets tackles, breaks up passes (4) and gets to the QB (2 sacks, 1 hurry).  Not sure if he's related to Skip 2 My Lou or not though.  In this week's presser Limegrover calls the linebacking group very consistent, but says the front four really picks them.



Secondary

Kirk Lowdermilk has a son on the Hawkeyes and he's pretty dang good!  Ol' Milky is second on the team with 58 tackles and the other safety, Jordan Lomax is third with 52.  They have 3 interceptions between them.  Desmond King and Greg Mabin are the starting corners.  Travis Perry and Maurice Fleming round out the group.  These guy held Siemian to 68 yards passing last week.  They also held Maryland to under 50% passing and 206 total yards even though they lost that one. Sudfeld and company were abysmal for Indiana as well, throwing for 116 yards and 3 INTs.  As a team they have 10 interceptions and 30 passes broken up. 

Followers for Vodka Samm - Part 2

With apologies to Daniel Keyes.



November 3, 2014

LMFAO! The losers at BHGP went through with their procedure this morning and I have 13,500 Twitter followers now. Check it out! All the more people to hear what a dump minisnooooooooooowDUH is. RAH!

I like having all of these people following me, but I don't know what most of them are saying. It's like they're speaking another language. They must have gone to school at DUH U. LMAO!!

I tried tweeting at Флора Ольховская about how the Goofer players are a bunch of thugs, but she never responded.

When the BHGP guys were talking about their plan, they said something about "Ukranian spam bots" and "thousands of followers for $3.99," but I don't know what any of that means. I'm just happy me and Валентина Науменко can follow Goofer recruits on Twitter and tell them what a dump Minnesota is. ROTFLMAO

Iowa is Pretty Good Now I Guess

In the words of our good buddy W at DownwithGoldy.com -- Is Iowa, like good?

While we were living the dream as a borderline ranked team and not losing to Illinois it seemed easy to overlook Iowa.  Everyone was doing it, not just we Gopher brethren.  (As opposed to wee Gopher brethren, that's MV).  They currently sit at 6-2 (3-1) and are tied with the Gophers and Wisconsin for second in the Kanye West division behind 4-1 Nebraska.

They stumbled early with a loss to Iowa State and that's when I think I wrote them off with a chuckle.  Which is probably the same thing that everyone is now doing with our Gophers.  "You lost to Illinois?  HAR HAR HAR."

The Gophers' three conference wins are now looking less than stellar as they have a combined record of 5-10 in Big Ten play.  But looky here, Iowa's 3 wins are against similarly poor opponents (3-11 Big Ten record) and everyone is tripping over their dicks in fear.  Iowa lost to a 3-2 Maryland squad while we all know the Gophers succumbed to the Illini (1-4) for their only conference loss.  There is some justification in that the Hawkeyes whipped these likely bottom-feeders in a more convincing fashion than Minnesota did.  They won those 3 games a combined 117-46, while Minnesota won theirs 93-69.

The way the Gophers play with their power run style, I just don't think you're going to see a lot of blowouts.  However, there is definitely room for concern on the defense.  They gave up a lot of big plays to Purdue.  And Iowa has been putting up big points of late, scoring 124 points over their last three games (2-1).

Let's try and take a look at what has been working for Iowa on offense and see if we can recognize what we should be most afraid of:

The Quarterback Position

Junior Jake Rudock is in his second year leading the Hawkeyes' offense.  Looking at the numbers, his 2014 varies from 2013 in a couple of key categories.  He has cut down his interceptions -- through 7 games, he has just 3 interceptions as opposed to 13 over 13 games in 2013.  He's also increased his completion percentage from 59.0% to 64.6%.  His first two career 300+ yard passing games have also come this year in the Maryland loss and an early season beating of Ball State.

One negative is that he's taking sacks at a much higher rate.  He already has been sacked 11 times as opposed to 14 in all of 2013.  This is interesting because Iowa was thought to have a great O-line coming into the year, more to come on that when we get to the O-Line.

In his last three games, Rudock has been solid.  He's passed for 62% completion with an average of 255 yards per game.  He's throw just 5 TDs and 1 INT over that span.

The Running Backs

I still have flashbacks of Mark Weisman running wild all over the Gophers in 2013.  I had hash for breakfast that day.  Weisman finished 2013 with 975 yards on 227 carries and had 8 touchdowns.  This year, Weisman has had his ups and downs, but is still extremely dangerous in short yardage.  He's already amassed 13 scores and has two or more TDs in each of the last 5 games.   The only game he hasn't reached the end zone was against Ball State.   On the season he has 521 yards on 133 carries, good for a 3.9 ypc.  Weisman has a total of 8 receptions in the last two years, so he is not a factor in the passing game.  Senior Damon Bullock is a threat out of the backfield though, catching 25 balls for 206 yards.

Jordan Canzeri (ankle) and LeShun Daniels (knee) have been battling injuries, with Daniels being lost for the year.  Freshman back Jonathan Parker was hurt on the opening kickoff last week as well.  In total, 5 other running backs have had carries besides Weisman, but they may have finally settled on the lightning to Weisman's thunder just this past week.    Freshman Akrum Wadley ran for 106 yards and a score on 15 carries despite not getting a touch in the first quarter. 

Over the last three games Iowa has run for 221, 116 and 207 yards.  The 116 against Maryland was on 31 carries and Rudock threw the ball 56 times that game.  Iowa gets 200+ yards = bad, who knew?

The Receivers

Iowa seems to have a decent history with having at least one pretty good reciever in the corps and this year is no different with senior WR Kevante Martin-Manley.  Seventeen different players have caught a pass for Iowa this year, but Martin-Manley leads the way with 36 receptions for 336 yards and 18 of those have been for a first down or score.  He has just one TD, and three other Hawkeyes have 2 TDs to lead the team.  Rudock likes to sprinkle.  Junior Tevaun Smith is the #2 receiver and he's already surpassed his receiving totals from last year by catching 27 balls for 326 yards.  Senior Damond Powell appears to be a deep threat with 14 receptions at a 20ypc clip.  He has a 72 yard score on the year.  Junior tight-end Jake Duzey has 26 receptions for only 180 yards... possibly a safety valve for Rudock.

Over the past 3 contests, the top receivers been Matt Vandenburg, Damon Bullock and Damond Powell.  Martin-Manley has just 104 yards total over that period.  In fact, over the 8 games, 6 different players have led the team in receiving yards. 

The Offensive Line

Iowa has a great history of strong offensive lines and coming into this season the story was that this year would be no different.  Prior to the year, the highly rated Hawkeyes were said to be led by left tackle Brandon Scherff, a guy who is considered among the best in the nation.  Austin Blythe was projected at center and a potential Rimington candidate -- and pre-season all Big Ten Jordan Walsh would slot in at right guard.  Big boy Andrew Donnal was to move over from backing up Scherff to right tackle.   Left guard was pretty much up for grabs, but probably would be another great big white guy.

Some things have changed since then.  Blythe is now the starting left guard and senior Tommy Gaul is at center.  Scherff is still holding it down at LT, OMG you guys did you know he was a HS quarterback? Jordan Walsh remains at right guard although Sean Welsh got some time in as well last week.  Andrew Donnal is also still at right tackle.


You might think going from 15 sacks allowed in 2013 to 13 sacks allowed so far this year that the line has had problems.  However, it should be noted that 15 sacks allowed was the lowest in the Big Ten last year and that Iowa threw the ball 375 times that year.  This year they've already thrown it 288 times and that 13 sacks allowed number is 5th best in the now 14 team conference.  Minnesota is 4th best allowing 12 sacks thus far, MSU leads... they've allowed just 5 sacks.  Wow. 


Rushing for Iowa has been pedestrian as a whole on the year.  They're mid-table in both yards per game and yards per carry.  They are tenth in the Big Ten in rushing yards.  We've seen that number tick up a bit in the last few wins, so perhaps they've figured it out.

Formations

As a bonus, I'll share what I've read over at the Gazette about Iowa's formations.  Last week, they ran the 22 (RB, FB, 2 TE) 32% of the time.  They ran the 21 (RB, FB, 1 TE) 22.5%, 11 (1 RB, 1 TE) 29.5% and the 12 (1 RB, 2 TE) 15.5%.  Of note here is that they completed some of the bigger passes of the game out of the sets with the FB and a flea flicker out of a 3 TE set (only time they ran that set).  Tricky tricky, Kirk.


Stay tuned over the next couple of days for some coverage on the Iowa defense.  Or at least to check out whatever the hell it is that Frothy is doing.

Followers for Vodka Samm - Part 1

With apologies to Daniel Keyes.

November 2, 2014

Goooooooooooferrrrrs! LMAO. ILLIONOIS?!!  LMAO!  minisooooooDUH got trounced by these losers?  RAH!! Junk team with a dump stadiette getting FLUKE cupcake wins and going to bowls in buttfuck detroit! Loserville minisooooooooooDUH barely beat Turdue. RAH!

ClusterFuckCirt’s HAWKEYS go to shit STADIETTE this weekend to beat JERRI KEEL and DUH cupcake store Goooooofers. The duck FCS powerhouses like NDSU and UNI! RAH!!

Yesterday the LOOSERS at BHGP told me I was banned from everywhere on the Innernet and they wanted to help. Said NCDOUCHEA said telling goofer recruits about MURDERapolis was a violation. You just can’t make this shit up!!!

They said if I get 13,000 Twitter followers I’ll be NORMAL and allowed back on the internet. LMFFAAO. Said they got a bunch of followers for Vodka Samm and now she’s normal and want to do the same thing for me and they’d get 13,000 followers for me tomorrow.

Goofers suck hairy, fat ones and their Gooferhole fans swallow.....LMFAO!!

Is it a trap? Gophers vs Illinois

Favored by -12.5 against Purdue at home.  Was that a trap game?

Favored by -6.5 against Illinois at Champagne this weekend.  Maybe that's the trap?

The bye week certainly isn't a trap, but what about the following week at home versus Iowa.  Trap?

Everyone seems to be calling each game a trap these days.  I realized that I don't know what the hell a trap even is except you lose when you don't expect to.  Some nerds at Harvard defined the trap game as a game against a lesser opponent preceding a game against a better opponent.  In that case, I guess Iowa would most qualify as a trap game presuming you think the Gophers are better than Iowa.  Iowa lost to The Turtle last week and has a loss against the Cyclones in non-conference play.  They will likely get handled by Northwestern a week from Saturday at Kinnick.  So yeah, let's assume they are worse then our Gophers.  Then the Gophs face Ohio State at home the following week, which will be a game they most certainly are not favored in.

Back to Harvard... they did an analysis of "trap games" in the NFL between (2002-11) and found that in so called trap games, the favored team won at a percentage consistent with other (non-trap) games where they are favored.  In fact, they won ever so slightly more often.  There were similar results for "let down games", i.e. games against a lesser opponent after beating a strong opponent.

So, in this non-trap matchup with the Illini, what can we expect?  The line at Bovada stands at Gophers -6 right now with an o/u of 56.  Illinois lost 38-28 to the Badgers in their last game and is now 3-4 (0-3) on the year.  They lost quarterback Wes Lunt to injury against Purdue, but the offense was still working with Reilly O'Toole and rushing QB Aaron Bailey leading the way.  The team averages 304 yards passing per game, but that's mostly due to Wes Lunt-ness.  Guy was slangin' rocks.  Now you have Bailey running and O'Toole throwing it around like the boys.

Tim Beckman thinks the Gophers will struggle with the dual QBs, "I think that for them to prepare for two is always a little more challenging than to prepare for one."

Here's the thing though, one looks like he's a glorified tailback and the other was efficient (12/19), but threw for 96 yards last week.  He was also sacked four times, so look for the Gopher d-line to put on some pressure.  Freshman WR Mike Dudek is having a good year receiving for the Illini.  He has 37 receptions for 598 yards and 3 touchdowns.  Irish assassin O'Toole will need to find him early to get some points on the board.

Obviously, Illinois scores some points here, but probably not as easily as Purdue did last week with their death-by-bubble-screen attack. There will be some bending.  There may be some breakage.  What we do know though is the defense is the softest of Swiss cheeses.  Which makes them Laughing Cow I guess?  Illinois gives up 35.9 points per contest including letting Texas State (who?) hang 42 on them.

My prediction is similar to many pundits this week.  The David (Daniel?) Cobb ground and pound will continue and the defense and specials will continue to make plays.  The Gopher secondary will make it tough for O'Toole and hopefully bear down on Bailey.  Minnesota 34 - Illinois 24.

Oh, almost forgot (scotch):

Illinois All-Namers:

V'Angelo Bentley DB - Nice take on the uber boring D'Angelo
Marchie Murdock WR - Marchie'ing down the field shtick in play
Man Berg QB - Full given name is Peter Bailey Berg ... Goes by "Man".  What in the everloving F?  Father is an EVP at CBS, man.
Jihad Ward DL - Declares Jihad on OL's each week
Dawuane Smoot DL - PARTY BOAT, Y'ALL!

Apostrophe Count: 3 including O'Toole and O'Connor

Know Your Enemy - Purdue Boilermakers

Plas-tic Ham-mer

 
I just took a little trip to imagination land and imagined myself as a Purdue fan.  Purdue football has been around since 1887, but these days they play it like they just came over from India and are still learning the rules.  Purdue's glory days were in the 1890s, when they won four consecutive conference championships.  Purdue has 8 Big Ten championships, 7 of which they were co-champion because they'd only play like 6 games in conference. 

In 2000, they had their most recent Big Ten championship under Joe Tiller going 8-4 (6-2). Drew Brees and Matt Mitrione lost in the Rose Bowl to Washington. 

As I imagined being a fan, I thought to myself that the best part would be drinking Boilermakers at the tailgate lot.  Is that a thing they do?  It should be.

A boilermaker can refer to two types of beer cocktail. In American terminology, the drink consists of a glass of beer and a shot of whiskey.^[1] The beer is either served as a chaser or mixed with the whiskey. When the beer is served as a chaser, the drink is often called simply a shot and a beer.
In the United Kingdom, the term boilermaker refers to a half pint of draft mild mixed with a half pint of bottled brown ale.^[2] The use of the term in British pubs can be traced back to about 1920.

So, I always thought a boilermaker was a drop shot; meaning you drop the shot of whiskey in the beer.  Wiki tells me that I'm wrong though:

• Traditionally, the liquor is drunk in a single gulp and is then "chased" by the beer, which is sipped.^[4][5]

• The liquor and beer may be mixed by pouring or dropping the shot into the beer. The mixture may be stirred, if desired.^[4] If the full shot glass is dropped into the beer glass, the drink is known as a depth charge.
• The liquor may be poured directly into an open beer bottle or can after removing some of the beer.

So, I've been drinking DEPTH CHARGES, which sounds more awesome anyway.  That first bullet point is just "drinking" to me.  Doesn't everyone drink beer and whiskey on the reg like that?  Am I making boilers the whole time?

Back to Football

I've been getting the impression that our Gophers are once again being underestimated.  I just read snippets here and there, but Purdue seems a little punchy and even a little confident. 

I found quotes from head coach Darrell Hazell saying, “I think this is a big game for us — all of them are.  I like our chances. Obviously, they’re feeling good about themselves at 5-1 and playing good football. We’ll match up well with them.”

and

“I think this is a big game for us, as all of them are, but this is a huge game.  We have to come out there and play our best football game of the season. I like our chances.”

Mike Carmin at JCOnline's first question Joe Christianson in his Scouting Minnesota piece was essentially, The Gopher offense is terrible, why are they 5-1?

The dudes at Boilermakerblitz.com are split on their predictions for the game. @cclinkin says the Gophers D is vulnerable to explosive offenses and Purdue has just such an offense.  The whole thing made me a little ragey. 

Part of the hype is due to the switch at quarterback.  Purdue has started sophomore Austin Appleby the past two games.  He completed 68% of his passes in those contests and made mediocre appetizers after each game.  Looking at Purdue's performance against MSU, sure its neat that they closed within a TD with 6 minutes remaining, but they still lost 45-31 and were down 38-17 entering the 4th.  Appleby's QBR was 45.7 (50 is average) and he only amassed 211 yards on 37 attempts.  To compare, Leidner's QBR against NW was 80.3 and the game prior it was 73.5.  We won't talk about anything prior to that.

Also, Appleby doesn't play both ways though and Purdue is still allowing 30+ points per game on the year.  And that's with Iowa bringing down the average with their 24-10 win.  Western and Central Michigan combined for 81 against this defense.  They allowed 532 million yards to Michigan State.

Hunt and Mostert are two capable backs and Tracy Claeys has said this is one of the better offensive lines that he's seen on film.  That means the Gophers need to rely heavily on the defensive line to play a good game and get some pressure on Appleby.

Purdue All-Namers

Andy James Garcia, LB - Academy award for best supporting actor in Godfather III
Ra'Zahn Howard, DT - Bad. Ass.
Race Johnson, DB - Bet he's fast
Dolapo Macarthy, TE - I just.  I just don't know.
Bearooz Jacoobi,  OL - Has a brother named Feerooz, actually true.

They have a lot of apostrophe guys too: Ra'Zahn, Ja'Whaun and Da'Wan

Prediction Time

TRE:  At first when I read all of the hype for Purdue I got some fearz thinking that Admiral Ackbar is standing behind me yelling ITS A TRAP when its already too late.  Then, reality set in. 

We have a top passing defense and Appleby isn't scaring me.  Get ready for a lot of bubble screens where the Gophers have to be sure tacklers. 

There will be times where Purdue runs well and Damien Wilson is going to have to be the monster in the middle that he's been all season long to help keep those runs from breaking.  The three headed monster at safety will also have plenty of work to do to keep those big plays from happening. 

On offense, Cobb will continue to roll and Leidner will continue to improve as a passer.  Wills will be exerted, rousers will be chanted.

On special teams, the Gophers will continue to excel and now there's the added fear factor of Jalen Myrick running 21.5 miles per hour and housing it on you. 

Bottom line is the Gophers are going to pound Purdue Pete and friends into dust.  There will be little pieces of plastic hammer everywhere: Gophers 41, Purdue 24

Frothy:  Purdue gets an A for effort in last weekend's fight against Michigan State, but if there's one thing I know, it's rebuild jobs.  They aren't linear, so consistency will be lacking from game to game - meaning they played great last week, but probably won't this week.  Also, getting close to but falling short of beating a superior team usually means bad things happen the following week.  For evidence, look no further than the 2013 Purdue squad, who came up 14 points short against MSU at Sparta and then lost 56 doughnut at home to Ohio State the following week.  Now, Purdue is better than last year and we're not Ohio State - but the hangover will still be in effect:  Minnesota 31, Purdue 10

 

On Being Pavlov's Dog

We’re probably not the most diseased fan base in college football, but we’re definitely shadowing the leaders. Diseased may be too strong a term – perhaps broken is more appropriate.

Here we sit, on the cusp of our first 3-0 start in the Big Ten since 1990 and we’re not really sure what to do with ourselves. Matt Hayes’ excellent piece in The Sporting News used a stat that perfectly articulated what a heady position the program finds itself in today: we’ve got a realistic chance at back-to-back eight-win seasons for the first time in 73 years. Think about that – we win three more games this season and the team accomplishes something that hasn’t been done since BEFORE THE UNITED STATES ENTERED THE SECOND WORLD WAR. And three wins seems imminently possible – Ohio State seems like the only insurmountable task on the remaining schedule. Sure, there won’t be any easy outs, but it’s not a Herculean task to find three more wins.

For all intents and purposes, the next two games should be gimmies: Purdue has looked competent in their last two games, but they should be a year or two away from being legitimate players and Illinois is without a quarterback and would be better served with a paper bag filled with warm malt liquor as their coach. Our offense has finally shown some semblance of multidimensionality, with an efficient if not spectacular passing game, and our defense and special teams have become exactly what you'd expect from a program led by Jerry Kill.

But check out the ‘tronz and the extent to which dyspepsia rules the day is remarkable. “Let’s get to 7-1 before celebrating too much,” “Purdue has looked really strong these last two games and will give us everything we can handle,” “Did you see what they did to that MSU defense? MSU is better than us, so I have no idea how we’re going to stop them!” We just beat Northwestern, what I believe to be a top-half conference team, holding their offense to 17 points, and we are concerned by a team that won its first B1G game in 18 months two weeks ago.

And what’s sick is I kind of identify with it. Going into the Michigan game, I saw no way we could win. Sure, the season results to that point suggested we were playing better as a team, they were likely starting a blob of ineptitude at quarterback and their offensive line deserved a “SIEVE!” chant; but I saw 50-years of history as the great equalizer and we’d lose as soon as our players saw the devilish spirit imbued in those winged helmets.

But we won – and now I’m dealing with the converse: I see no way we lose this game. Hazell appears to be doing a nice job with Purdue in cleaning house and the freshmen he started last year and early this year seem to be improving by leaps and bounds. But he’s in the second year of the rebuild and they shouldn’t be able to threaten us at this stage. They’re basically the 2012 version of Minnesota. Competent, occasionally showing some teeth, but a few years away from legitimately competing with some of the better teams in the conference.

And the last half of that sentence is what is giving me and much of the Gopher fan base pause. “The better teams in the conference.” Are we really one of the better teams in the conference? I mean, it seems like it. Say what you will about the condition of the B1G, and the West Division in particular, but it seems like we may be one of the better teams. Winning this division may be the equivalent of owning the best house in a bombed-out neighborhood, but it’s still worth some measure of legitimacy.

But simply uttering those words as regards Gopher football conjures demons. We thought we were one of the better teams in the conference in 2008, sitting at 7-1 and showing a pulse against Ohio State. We promptly lost the next five games and got nuked into the stratosphere by Iowa. Prior to that was probably 2003 and then, yeah, no reason to revisit that Himalayan mound of barf.

We’re facing a Pavlovian response to perceived success. We’ve gotten close a couple of times in recent memory and gotten a white-hot laser shot through our eye. Now, on the brink again, we’re rightfully averse to embracing it. The downside to keeping our emotional distance from the team this year is missing a little bit of enjoyment from the current level of success. The downside to going all in, throwing your proverbial balls on the table and spitting in the devil’s eye is the feeling of crushing despondency that comes from being burned by this team again. That feeling is still fresh, familiar – I get why it’s tough to move the chips to the center of the table.

I’ve decided to join the #Believe train now and will worry about tomorrow tomorrow. People are actually picking the Gophers to win the West Division. Like, people not affiliated with the program. I don’t remember the last time there was such sentiment from people whose wardrobes weren't comprised entirely of shirts with a rodent on them.

So, enjoy today. It may all go away on Saturday or the Saturday after that. Enjoy the positive vibes because it’s been too long since we’ve experienced them. It may be ten years until we find ourselves in this place again and I don’t want to mitigate some of the misery later by being miserably anxious now. It will hurt again, if not in a week, then in two or six or 52. And we’ll all get through it together, just like we always have. Enjoy today, enjoy it while this fleeting sensation of success lasts. ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.