Two years is a long time. Long enough to bear 2.85 children, if a couple was hell-bent on breeding an army of rapacious parasites to conquer the oil fields of Bartertown, North Dakota. Long enough to serve a prison sentence for your second dope slanging offense, but you were innocent and could have proved it if your stupid lawyer had just put you on the stand like you wanted. Long enough for seven cycles of P90X and to prep for your consequent knee replacement surgeries.
Yes, it's been two years since the last post on Still Got Hope. I'd like to think we've all gotten a little wiser. Friends have become enemies, enemies have become friends. We still share a love for all things Gopher and will spit in the Devil's eye on the Last Day when he shows up wearing Wisconsin gear. So let's give this blog another try.
The rebirth of SGH is really the second of several highly questionable decisions I've made over the last week. First, was beginning to use my real name on the Twitter. I actually thought about quitting Twitter last month, but it turns out I'm better at quitting quitting than I am just quitting, so here we are. I figured if I was coming back, I was coming back in the full, resplendent glory of my birth name. If I get fired from my job for online shenanigans, well, I can always use the warm fuzzies of our more intimate digital friendship to pay my mortgage and feed my dog, right?
There are two more absurd decisions that are slated for the coming weeks. The first is some sort of SGH podcast/video session where TRE and I will pontificate on all things Gopher, discuss smoked meat and rap about more smoked meat if the Gophers lose, because those three-win seasons are still too close to my soul to talk about a bad season when there is sweet, blessed meat about which we can wax.
The last, most idiotic decision, is 100,000 Words of Gopher Football. I'm going to commit to writing 100k words between the week before the season starts and the week after the regular season ends. I've done a lot of research and I've discovered that's a lot of words. I'm allowing myself the luxury of using any and all tropes, allegories and anecdotes to meet my quota so, while it will all be about Gopher football, it may take some circuitous routes to get there. Oh, and if I don't do it, I'll donate $500 to one (1) charity chosen by my Twitter fam (qualifier: nothing related to Wisconsin or Iwoa athletics).
So, there we are. A series of highly, highly dubious decisions farted out for you all to enjoy. If TRE's and my follow through is anything like in the past, we'll all look back on this in two years, laughing at SGH's failure as I get out of jail for meth production, $500 poorer.