Wednesday, November 23, 2011

3 (12?) Days Later Live Blog - Gophers/Badgers

6:45am - Load truck up for tailgating.  Come to the realization that I did not buy shot making materials.  Go to liquor cabinet and pour 1/2 bottle of Pendleton Whiskey, 1/2 bottle of Phillip's Blackberry Brandy and about 5 shots worth of El Jimador tequila into the shot jug.  Make mental note to stop at store for mixers.

7:15am - Finished loading truck, Swansley is here, we're rolling.  Stop at store for OJ, Diet Mountain Dew and Sugar Free Red Bull because I'm watching my figure.

7:45am - Almost to tailgate lot, but I get a phone call from my brother requesting a ride.  We turn around to go get him.  Wah wah.

8:30am - At the lot.  Either we're the dumbest people on earth, or these canopies that we keep buying and subsequently breaking because we can't get them to go up are absolute pieces of crap.  We got it up but it doesn't look right.  If we were architects we'd be fucking fired.  This time we bought the extra warranty though so I won't feel bad when we snap it in half next week.

9:00am - The shots are great.  I'm convinced you can add orange juice and soda to turpentine and it would make a decent shot. "Why are my kidneys malfunctioning?  Who cares, more shots!"

12:00pm - Oops, 3 hours are gone.  Call comes in from my internet friend, Matt.  He's a Badger fan, so I plan on getting him drunk and stealing his wallet.  Our new friends from North Dakota (but still Gopher fans) are there too: Goatee, Beardy, Beardy2 and Short guy (Adam?).  They're all younger than us and haven't had the light in their eyes dim due to multiple Gopher football humiliations.

12:10pm - I put the cornhole game on hold to the ire of TREbro and friends to do shots with my internet friend. This is totally against the cornhole code and I know it.  iMatt proceeds to do a series of beer chugs with Beardy2.  Swansley has videos, maybe I can talk him to add them in, but right now I question his commitment to Sparkle Motion.

2:00pm - Beer: Gone. Shot jug thing: Empty.  Beer slams with iMatt vs. Beardy2 is a 2-2 tie.  Time to head to the game.

?:??pm - ????  There's a game in here doesn't go well.  I do remember we stayed for the whole thing.  iMatt complained about no beer being available and said he misses the Metrodome. 

7:00pm - At a bar downtown...Brothers maybe?  iMatt is with me. I've lost everyone else.  Oh, and I also got to drink with iMatt's friends: former Gopher Jon Michals and his brother Bobby.  Great guys, I hope they enjoyed my talking monkey act.  I remember talking with them quite a bit, but I could tell you a single thing we discussed.  I think Jon may be in real estate...if so, buy houses from him here  I bet he'll tackle you in your new home's yard for free after closing!

8:??pm - I look to my right and iMatt is gone.  He left his wallet at the bar and wandered off.  I go outside and ask the security at the door if "a guy with a red sweatshirt went this way".  Genius.  I go back to the bar and give the wallet to iMatt's friends (I think?) and I call a cab. $65 dollar cab ride later I'm home. 

This could have happened and I wouldn't have known.

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