Get Tape for Your Pet's Heads - Gopher Football Recruiting

What the deuce is happening with this recruiting cycle? I'm not much of a recruitnik, but I know enough to know that, like Toweliee, I have no idea what's going on right now. We've got about 15 TE/H-back prospects currently committed, a bunch of dudes who are not ranked by the esteemed recruiting services and now, two weeks before NSD, appear to be going after receivers like we're abandoning the idea of an offensive line and rolling with ten receiver sets. Maybe it'll be a revelation like the toaster or forward pass. After 45 years of shitting our mess kits, why not give it a shot?

It's okay, Toweliee. No one knows what's going on.

The attitude on the Gopher webz is predictably schizoid. On the one hand, peeps are convinced the team is doomed and, regardless of Kill's coaching acumen, we'll never be competitive with a bunch of Western Michigan rejects. Alternatively, we should all relax because Kill is the greatest developer of talent since Fillmore Slim, recruiting services and BCS offers be damned.

So which hyperbolic viewpoint is closer to the truth? Beats me. There's certainly merit to the argument that higher-rated recruits have a positive correlation with joy in the W column, though I think it's overblown, to some extent (MV over at FBT did some of his sorcery to define the R-squared value, or the amount of variability in W/L that can be attributed to recruiting rankings, but I'm too lazy to find the link). Conversely, it'd be tough to win many games with drunk tubs of margarine like TRE and me, regardless of the strength of Kill's talent development regimen. It just doesn't look like we're getting guys who are coveted by the other AQ conferences.

So, what to do? I'm not stressing too much since there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. We've been latched to the hind teat of the B1G for my entire life, so what's another few throwaway years if Kill's recruiting  is as appealing as Bert motorboating Barry's supple moobs. Regardless, the next two weeks should be interesting. I'll openly weep if a certain local WR chooses UCLA over us, even though I know it's coming. I won't apologize for my telekinetic rage when the pig's blood falls from the rafters onto my prom dress, you guys.

They're all going to laugh at you, Gophers!