Iago's Vengence

Song parody time again! 

This week I'm getting us into the Christmas spirit by riffing off of the best seasonal song of all time, NewSong's "Christmas Shoes." Important context if you're unfamiliar with the Chad Alvarez/Parrot story.

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It was almost Axe game time, there I stood for the fifteenth time

Wearin’ all my gold gear and maroon, waitin’ for booze to change my mood

Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously

Pacing 'round, his hands a knot

And Jesus, in them was a dead parrot

It was dead for a while, crispy and black, it had been fried

When it came time for teams to play

I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Barry, why’d Chad nuke this bird? ‘Twas a felony

His name’s Iago, he really liked to fly

You’re the AD, Bare, and you raised a psychopath

Horseshoe been up your ass for a while

I know it’d make Iago smile

Want microwaved bird wild and free if the Gophers beat your team tonight

He held that parrot up by the ears

Security said, “son, you can’t bring that here.”

He searched fans’ faces frantically

Only Badgers did he see

He said, “How you people stand up for Barry?”

Badger backs all suck in the League.

Tell me, what are we s’posed to do?

Could have shared a mistress with Bo Ryan too.

So he laid Iago down, a charred wing fell to the ground

And I'll never forget the look on his face when he said

Don’t forget these eyes of hate

Barry, why’d Chad nuke this bird? ‘Twas a felony

His name’s Iago, he really liked to fly

You’re the AD, Bare, and you raised a psychopath

Horseshoe been up your ass for a while

I know it’d make Iago smile

Want microwaved bird wild and free if the Gophers beat your team tonight

I knew I'd caught a glimpse of Iago’s love

He descended in flames from above

I knew that God had sent that little boy

Iago’s geist to inflame Badger fans and boil

Barry, why’d Chad nuke this bird? ‘Twas a felony

His name’s Iago, he really liked to fly

You’re the AD, Bare, and you raised a psychopath

Horseshoe been up your ass for a while

I know it’d make Iago smile

Want microwaved bird wild and free if the Gophers beat your team tonight

I want him to be wild and free so he can exact vengeance tonight